i just know there was a weird little girl in the middle ages out there stealing snake’s eggs and putting them in her family’s chicken coop in the hope of hatching a basilisk
god i love the internet because if i said shit like this to people irl they’d probably just stare at me blankly but when i post it online everyone in the notes reacts like this
fuck “girl lunch” fuck “girl math” a woman is a hairy animal who sweats and grunts and excretes and hungers and gets wrinkly and dies eventually. you have to love that.
ppl are tagging this post with things like ‘ooh i want to meet a woman like this’ or with specific characters which kind of misses the point i was trying to make. ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS. IT STANDS IN CONTRAST TO NOTHING. WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND IT.
I hate job searching because Everybody Is Lying and no one tells you this. I will get a job description and be like “I am obviously nowhere near remotely qualified for this, it wants someone fluent in Spanish and with three years of experience” and my advisor will be like “Oh, they’re lying. Apply for it.” A position will state that they’re taking applications until October 31st and I’ll be like “So I have some time to get my materials together?” and he’s like “No, they are lying, you need to apply now because they will close it before then.” and I am like WHY is everyone LIKE THIS why can we not just SAY TRUE THINGS THAT WE MEAN
you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you’ll relax
